WHERE IS MY CLOWN?
by Sorana Lucia Salomeia

Your eyes and my eyes have not talked in quite a while. It seems like a lifetime. There is a dark cloud hanging above us. A strange mist between us is keeping us apart. It has been a long time since I walked beside your smile… yes, memories never lie. Still, we talk about the way it used to be once. Nevertheless, I know my feelings have not died.
Your touch and my touch have not spoken for a long time. You say that we have both changed, but I am still thinking of you, you are always on my mind. I could tell you that we are through, that everything is over and done, but I would only lose.
I was not the one who said goodbye, I was not the one who disappeared into the mist of the dark night.
Something very wrong happened in the night, something very strange… You had been talking in your sleep and calling someone else's name. Tell me what this is all about. You said you were only friends, nothing important, of course, and I had heard that same old line before. I had my strong reasons to doubt.
You can be the first to know that I have had enough, and now it is my time to go, so now and from this moment on I stand alone. Now it's far too late to make amends.
All is fair in love and war and you have made that very clear to me. I am sure you will have all the love you need in the near future; all I ask you to do is to remember that once I was here.
Now – and why so late? – I wonder why I kept holding on after all the love had gone.
Try to reach me, but there will be no reply.
My heart is broken, saddened, mourning a lost love… a love of the past… a love that's now over…
The tears of blood caused by the thorns of a red, velvety – petaled rose keep running on the blushing cheeks and pouring in an endless sea of pearls and sea weeds.
Like a sparrow in my hands, a bird who has no nest, you once were afraid, frozen, blown by the cold, obscure wind of solitude and sadness. You were afraid and stayed here with me and I warmed you up with my life and love when you were freezing.
Like a sparrow in my hands, a bird who built now itself a nest, you became secure and stayed by my side and warmed me up.
In winter I was great and strong. I was your meadow, I was your garden. I carried you high and you were glad as you grew and became free.
Like a sparrow in my hand which had a cage in the place of a nest, you became free, leaving me with the blue image from the memory of a beautiful day when you flew away, and how I cried…
Once, my friend, we were a pair. So was it then if I recall rightly. We took it mostly in joke. Life was easy then, at the beginning, but now I wonder: where is my clown?
Oh, you used to be my clown, but suddenly you became silent.
You were not like yourself, I felt it, yes; I would be your only audience, but that was wrong and led to the end of our game.
Now it still feels warm to recall your laughter; I played it in my ear until I fell asleep and dreamed of you last night. But it was just a dream that disappeared like the treacherous veil of a chimera.
But where is my clown?
Yes, the stage is empty and the light are out.
Once, my darling, we were a pair, but the time flew away like a dream. What is there left now? Where is my clown?
The game has ended, yes, you were once my clown.
One time, yes, you were my love, but one time is no time now.
The sight of you wakes my yearning, although I know you have changed, but still it is hard, so hard to forget someone whom once I loved so much.
Once you stood so near to me and now it is only an old image in the smog of time, a long - lost song: our song…
When I see you I remember a summer evening on the seashore at dusk, a dance in the twilight hour, blue lakes, blue skies. And never again have I felt that tremendous happiness that I experienced that summer with you.