Translated by Mona Lepadatu



Ileana was plucking the few hairs left after waxing her bikini line. Suddenly the doorbell begins to ring violently and before she has the time to reach the door, her lifetime friend Ramona rushes into the bedroom like a storm. Ileana looks at her dumbfounded and frantically looks for a dressing gown, anything to put on.
‘Girl, what bad luck! Downright disaster!’
‘What is it, Ramona?’
‘Ileana, do you remember Rudy Valentino? That tall dark slim guy I fell in love with last month in the chat room? That poet who writes parodies?’
‘Yes, I know him.’
‘I saw him a couple of hours ago in front of the Eva department store.’
‘And?’
‘Ileana, I’m dead! When I got out of the shop I bumped into Rudy right in front of the door. When he saw me he smiled from one ear to the other, like a bumble bee in heat. He couldn’t even speak, you know, all he could do was show his teeth and breathe heavily. God, what cute dimples he has in his cheeks! Well, I said to myself, it’s time to fry him. And here I go. I smile at him tenderly, I do a little small talk and at the end I throw the net. I’m sorry, I’m in a big hurry, I have to go. Buy! I turn my back to him and quickly walk towards the Victory Square with him clump! clump! behind me like a bull in a bull fight. I say to myself, lets laugh at him a little then, for he has too much played with me in the chat room and on the phone.’
‘Ramona, I still don’t get it; why are you upset?’
‘Wait and I’ll tell you! I reach the Roman Square with him behind me, I cross the street, go back to the University, he was still following me. To cut the story short, I was stuck with him like a stamp on a letter.’
‘Well, with that short skirt of yours, what did you expect from the poor guy?’
‘Poor guy? What poor guy, Ileana? Wait till I tell you what happened and then draw your own conclusions. When I was drawing near the Eva store again, quicker then you can say crack! I fell down.’
‘You did what?’
‘I fell flat on my nose, out of the blue. I have no idea how, but I found myself with my face on the ground...’
‘It happens to everybody. And didn’t Rudy come to help you?’
‘Of course he did! Obviously, he rushed to help me.’
‘And?’
‘Ileana! Just today, believe me, today for the first time in my life... I swear to you, Ileana, it was the first time... In fact, I don’t even know what got into me...’
‘What do you mean?’
‘My colleagues say that in summer it feels so good ....without... you know? And then, I can save some money with these high prices. You know yourself how the euro has gone up... And just today the devil pushed me to try it, girl, just today when I met Rudy. I’ve been after him for so long, and when the occasion finally arises, look what happens.’
‘Come on, Ramona, you’re exaggerating. Don’t take it so tragically. He may not even have noticed...’
‘Impossible, Ileana. With that short skirt... and I have not waxed since spring... It’s over! I don’t even want to hear Rudy’s name anymore. I’m not even going to go into the chat room. Good riddance!’
‘Ramona, just out of curiosity, is it really so good to go out without...?’
‘Sublime, Ileana!’