No weapons of mass destruction (WMD) have been found, and according to President Bush, they should have not been very hard to find, since they existed in large quantities. There was secret intelligence information that thousand of tons of chemical weapons existed, bomb making facilities, and groups of scientists that would testify to their existence. So, where is all that? There are two main possibilities. One that the President has deliberately misled the nation and the world, and the other is that he really does not know the real motives for attacking Iraq. Bush seems to be a very righteous guy; perhaps his aides are afraid that when he finds out the real motives for attacking Iraq, he might order a massive attack on Washington for the same reasons. Did Saddam really have WMD? He sure did, we just can’t find them and he wont tell. How can President Bush justify the $95 billion the war is costing the American people, and just why did we go to war? To liberate the Iraqi people, to get rid of a madman dictator, to destroy weapons of mass destruction and get free oil... wow, how could that be so bad?
In view of the failure by the US to find the WMD’s, President Bush has turned his attentions to beyond Earth. The CIA has collected dubious intelligence in a joint operation with a Uranus intelligence oranization that WMD’s may exist on Mars. The American Mars lander “Spirit” successfully touched down on Mars, and has begun searching for the WMD’s. Mars surface is very similar to Iraq’s. It’s basically a desert and a perfect place for hiding WMD’s. Based on recent intelligence reports Saddam and the terrorist had a secret Space Program, and it is strongly believed that they were hiding the WMD on Mars. The US lander, Spirit, had been equipped with facilities to immediately begin drilling and extracting any oil found "just in case," as well as planting a large flag in the ground saying "Property of the United States." The United States intends to restore democracy and freedom to those desolate places; Mars is a little too "red" as it is. Therefore, we need to vigorously keep looking for WMD on Mars, Venus, asteroids, Wal-Marts, Neverland, etc. Personally, I think we would have a better chance of finding alien life forms or even Vice President Dick Cheney.
Meanwhile, back on earth life as we used to know it is slowing disappearing. We now live on yellow, red or orange days. We are terrified of packages left unattended, and of people that even remotely look Arab. U.S. troops finally captured a filthy Saddam Hussein hiding in a hole along with 11 other members of the cast of the CBS reality show “Survivor: Iraq”. And do we really feel any safer now that he was captured? Airport security has gone from the sublime to the ridiculous. DNA testing will soon be a requirement before boarding airplanes, and we will all have to be at the airport at least three weeks prior to departure date. Strip searches will probably be put into effect followed by the ever-popular anal probe. Being an airport security worker cannot be easy these days. In the War on Terror front, authorities in Boston, Chicago, and New York report a medical outbreak among airport security workers known as “really funky passenger feet” epidemic. Medical experts are demanding that all airport workers wear masks, and that passengers wear “Dr.Scholl’s foot deodorizers before coming to the airport.
So, why did we go to war with Iraq? Did Saddam really have weapons of mass destruction? Despite the loss of life, the deficit, and the $95 billion dollars this war is costing us. President Bush has decided to spend another $52 billion on Space exploration. We went to the Moon thirty years ago, what are we trying to prove now. Is President Bush looking for WMP on Mars? There are so many unanswered questions but the 2004 presidential election will be soon upon us so who gives a damn anyway.