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How can I live with myself!?
personals [ Thoughts ]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
by [Manuel ]

2005-01-14  |     | 



And thatā€™s a interesting question, and for that I would sure like to know the answer; I mean... take this moment for example: Iā€™m no longer the way I was before or at least Iā€™m not felling quite the same. And tomorrow this...
So Iā€™m looking at my thoughts now and it makes me realize that ā€œmy thoughts are misplaced somehowā€. Why did I wrote all those feelings, all those memories, all those moments, all those lives!? I think I needed to live under the impression that someone else, cares. But who cares anymore!? No one I say, but I wouldnā€™t believe it, ā€˜cause a huge part of me still hopes that somehow all those words that Iā€™m typing down, will somehow change something. Maybe theyā€™ll get heavy enough... to pull and turn this wheel; and this wheel will turn another one, and so on. And this huge chain of gears, some broken and some not, will turn and turn until somewhere, far away in the distance, someoneā€™s wheel will turn and his life will become a little more... beautiful.
So I ask you... why you write all your lives!? Is it because you hope your wheel will turn or are you selfish enough not to think at anybody else except you!?

Stop it!!!
Nooo...
Wake up!!!
Hhhh...
Let me dream a little more.
No... no no, your life gets ruined!!!
You have lot of things to do!!!
But I need to... Zzzz

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