I’m a fool
Among clouds and wishes, I’m a fool standing towards the door
With beer in a tree and cigarettes in two hands
I choose the highest mountain
And the courage is where?

Living instead of those around me
for a million splits of seconds.
Yes.
But what about all the other hours I don’t breathe?
Would they shut all the doors for themselves?
And for me?
If my mind stops building this project
And awaits for the next one?
Will they cut off threads that connect us?
their memories, money, telephone calls?
Will they shut everything out if I ain’t real anymore?
I wish we were all left to feel our rights
Feel the beauty of switching the on/off button
Because we’ve thought enough about it
And do not desire at all to continue.
Still, the project is moving.
It is still hurting, crying, denying,
Cursing all the impediments.

Monday, December 01, 2008
00:27:11

Kill me now for my life’s worth no more than a dime.
Surely one of dust and rain
Which smells of vanished powder
At the bottom of a broken waterfall.
And then I disappear in sour dreams,
To hope and hope again…
For the waterfall to collapse out of nowhere,
embrace me in ceaseless breaths.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008
2:08:13

I have this plan all figured out
But my mouth is wordless
For my ego stands still
If you don’t say it, then I never will
And I wonder then,
How come I seem to be talking more,
wanting to sing along with you?
When someone else bought the ticket
Without asking me anything
At all.

Let it hurt
A knot more or less in my throat
Makes no difference.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008
23:13:26

After each sight of us,
It’s like I haven’t done enough,
I haven’t succeeded to feel the preciousness
Of our minute, our second
Just as my heart begged me to.
And each time you say: “goodbye, my love”
I stop and wish in vain
For us to be photographed
And remain.
After lingering so much
I feel stupid for doing so
Still, I would have felt even dumber
If I had not.
Right now, I don’t know what to do
Nor how to do it…
Whatever “it” might stand for

Thursday, December 11, 2008
08:46:34

I hold my breath in monosyllabic words
And see my heart yearning to move in another’s chamber.

One second I see what I shouldn’t,
One thought and I wish I couldn’t.
You breathe for “survival”
Into someone’s mouth
Still just for nothing in my sight!?!

Could someone spare some Prozium
And make me numb?
Not sense a thing, not love or cry,
Or touch the burning ache inside and out,
Be careless to whatever it means
To feel.

Saturday, December 13, 2008
13:22:53