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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 2002-12-16 | [This text should be read in romana] |
Forgive me father for I have sinned, the end of my last confession was a world away, when u cast me out into the blades of this rotting reality that cut my soul so thin my own feelings would not recognize it.
Insanity, my only friend, I walk towards my confession, blood slowly dripping from my wrists, so dark and ashen that the earth moans at every drop. Father, I have scarred, I have tormented, I have mistreated. How could I please a world that wants me in so many ways that I could not, would not grant? Give myself over to something that had already consumed me and tormented my brain into accepting the theatre of absurdity as undeniable truth? How can I love those I pity for their blindness and Puritanism? How can the eagle admire the sheep? Indeed father, the apple is bitter, like the light to a bat, the truth is tormenting to he who opens his eyes only to realize the door of the maze is beyond reach. What should I do father? Close my eyes and dream the ever-repeating nightmare of blind hypocrisy or walk the maze until my last drop of blood stains the stone? Oh, I dare embrace insanity as my friend, as my painkiller. I dare ask you why you gave no star to guide your children in this maze? Why you left even your brightest angel, Lucifer get lost inside, only for daring to open his eyes? Why must the prophets become martyrs? And why must we even search for the end when you could embrace your sons instead of laughing at them from above, and share the love of light? It is within your power to allow the bat to open its eyes to the sun and within our power to remain blind or walk the never-ending path towards a kingdom you never meant to share.
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