At the dentist’s office


Matilda and Cocutza (black on white, just like in an identity card) -two inseparable ladies, had been together for over a century and half, because of God’s mercy. They weren’t in any way related, but they couldn’t have been so alike had they been Siamese twins.
They lived in a block of flats in Rahova -a suburb of Bucharest-, on the same floor. The fact that the building superintendent hadn’t allowed them to break the wall between their apartments, explaining that it would affect the supporting structure, had caused them quite a bit of frustration. However, they found ways to overcome this inauspicious situation.
Each owned cat -obviously, black- hated dogs and used the same tooth paste brand. Potatoes gave them both gas and they were allergic to the cream with Gerovital.
They both had ischemic cardiopathy and, because one took Preductal, the other insisted that her family doctor replace her Maycor with the same drug.
There were, of course, some little differences creating a sadness mixed with unrest. But is there anything perfect in the world?
Cocutza had already lost her teeth and wore a denture; Matilda still had two molars persisting watch over her bleak gums. After some weeks of debates, Matilda decided to sacrifice the “last Mohicans”. She would go to her friend’s female dentist to “retouch the normal harmony”.
-I’ll have her pull them out and there… the denture!
-Of course, my darling, warmed Cocutza. Since I had it, I’ve been feeling younger…You’ll see… I’ll come with you. She’s there in the afternoon.
Accompanied by Cocutza, whose denture had cracked, Matilda is waiting next to the door of the dentist’s office. They are chattering excitedly with anybody available. Unfortunately, at this time of day, the audience has quite diminished: a snuffling old woman keeping her denture in a little packet and a pregnant young lady with jaws clenching in pain have got to abide their assaults.
-What is taking so long, dear? As if he’s undergone surgery…
-Well, you know, you are right, added the other, nodding more vigorously than usually to underline the affirmation.
After half an hour of these lamentations the women had come to terms with the situation. Episode 234 of the “The Young and the Restless” being already lost, Matilda committed herself to calling her niece Adriana in the evening, to find out: who betrayed, who got married and who divorced. The situation just had to be cleared up.
-I promise, I’ll ask her, concluded Matilda. I owe one to Mrs. Vasilescu from second floor who is away for a week, gone to her daughter to Bulgaria. Two years ago, Mrs. Vasilescu told me two episodes from the “A Mother’s Heart”. You know… after I got out from Geriatry. Imagine that, such a big hospital and only one working tv set on second floor! How could anybody heal there?
Even without a “moral duty” the women would have been missing the informative base; there was a reason to join issue with another and advance opinions until the next episode.
Finally, a confuse young man came into sight in the doorway of the consulting room, swaying as if he’d been drunk, glancing over his shoulder at the doctor who underlined the last medical advices.
-Keep your mouth shut for three hours. Don’t smoke, don’t drink alcohol, and don’t rinse with chamomilla tea for twenty four hours.
The young grumbled some syllables through the blood impregnated compresses- bits of words lost unnecessarily inside his throat.
- Next, please!
It was Matilda’s turn and she had lost courage. Pushed by her friend, she stood in the middle of the consulting room. The bluish light, the smell of iodoform and a few bloody compresses laying in the bucket made her lay on the dental armchair, like a toy with a broken resort.
The doctor, rubbing her hands under the tap, puzzled by the sudden silence, turned around with soapy hands.
-What’s the matter, ma’am, she tried to open a conversation.
Matilda was lying eyes closed on the dental armchair.
-Look at her, I didn’t lay a finger on her and she fainted! What a hell of a watch day I’m going to I have today! I can see myself tonight explaining the situation on Realitatea TV. These make us guilty of everything. The audience is asking for it, they are satisfying them....I’ll be raising their rating for three months. The problem is: what should I put on! I cannot appear dressed in just about anything on the TV screen. They’ll focus on me from now on. I’ll be more important than Elodia… if she ever appeared! I haven’t got one single up-to-date “rag”. I work all the day with no rest, if as I’ll rule the world.
Saying that, she ran to a cupboard and took out a little brown bottle.
If, in the fashionable circles of eighteenth century salons the noble ladies were reanimated by some aromatic salts, our contemporary from Rahova suburb woke because of the stinking smell of ammonia.
The doctor gave her a drastic massage on her temple, trying to bring the conversation together again, broken somewhere in the patient’s conscience.
-Well! You are awake. Alright
At once, the door half opened, revealing, little by little, Cocutza’s confused head.
-Doctor, are you free? Could I come in for treatment, too?
And because the doctor, unable to keep up a double conversation, didn’t answer, she advanced a little to the middle of the room.
-Oh! Lord love you! Matilda, were you here, too!? she exclaimed and, embarrassed, closed the door.
The familiar sonority had a mirific effect on the patient going to come to her senses. Looking over her shoulder, Matilda shouted with joy:
-Cocutza, my darling, did you come to the doctor, too?!